Sunday, October 21, 2007
The Five Love Languages – Week 6 – Review
This week at Bridge Kids, we reviewed each of the Love Languages.
We started out reviewing unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always. Love God, Love Others as Self. God has given us an emotional fuel tank that uses the fuel of love to run smoothly. We talked about what happens when our love tank is empty, we feel sad, we might be grouchy, we may even be out of control. Or what happens when the love tank is full?
With each love language we reviewed what that language looks like, and how it fills our tanks.
We started out with Words of Affirmation, or Saying Nice Things to people, without expecting something in return. Saying something genuine is one way we can express our love for one another. We should never use words of affirmation to manipulate others into doing something for us.
Next was Giving a Gift to someone, without expecting something in return. This is one way we can express our love for one another. We should never use gifts to bribe others into doing something for us.
After that we discussed Time Spent With. We discussed showing love to others by spending QUALITY time with the people you love. Spending un-rushed time with someone we love, can show the other person, "You’re important. I like being with you."
Next we talked about Acts of service; how doing something for another person tells them "You’re needs are important to me." We said that it does not necessarily mean you are doing a courageous act or something huge – doing little things adds up!
Finally we wrapped up with Physical Touch. We discussed showing love to others by providing loving touch. We discussed appropriate hugs, high-fives, dancing (of course), fun snuggle times with parents while reading or watching a movie, holding hands, shoulder rides, being pushed on the swing, etc are all things we can do to show our love through touch.
We presented the kids with a specific love language challenge. We had the kids choose their favorite love language, and asked them how they will be speaking it this week?
Dine and Dish:
Talk – Ask you kids what their favorite love language is and why. Discuss the various activities that you have done in the past five weeks (whether at church or at home) and see if you discover what your child’s primary love language. Note: if your child is under five, they probably don’t have any preferences, or a primary love language. Ask them what doesn’t make them feel loved, and notice how that is related to a specific love language.
Do an activity together:
Challenge yourself to try to express a love language that you or your child doesn’t speak naturally. Read through the past materials given at Bridge Kids and see if you can learn any new tricks. Below is a quick review.
Kind Words
Say: Complements, Affimation, Kind Words
Do: Sending notes, Sending Cards.
No Criticism
Gifts
Say: positive, giving the facts
Do: Giving gifts on special (& not so special) occasions.
No forgetting special days
Time Spent
Say: One on one time, Not interrupting, Face to face conversation.
Do: Taking long walks, Doing things together, Taking trips.
No long periods being apart, or more time with friends than with significant other.
Acts of Service
Say: Action words like "I can" "I will" "what else can I do".
Do: Helping with the chores, repair/maintenance, Acts of kindness.
No ignoring significant other’s requests while helping someone else.
Loving Touch
Say: A lot of nonverbals, Verbals need to be word pictures.
Do: Touches, hugs, pats, kisses.
No physical neglect or abuse.
We started out reviewing unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always. Love God, Love Others as Self. God has given us an emotional fuel tank that uses the fuel of love to run smoothly. We talked about what happens when our love tank is empty, we feel sad, we might be grouchy, we may even be out of control. Or what happens when the love tank is full?
With each love language we reviewed what that language looks like, and how it fills our tanks.
We started out with Words of Affirmation, or Saying Nice Things to people, without expecting something in return. Saying something genuine is one way we can express our love for one another. We should never use words of affirmation to manipulate others into doing something for us.
Next was Giving a Gift to someone, without expecting something in return. This is one way we can express our love for one another. We should never use gifts to bribe others into doing something for us.
After that we discussed Time Spent With. We discussed showing love to others by spending QUALITY time with the people you love. Spending un-rushed time with someone we love, can show the other person, "You’re important. I like being with you."
Next we talked about Acts of service; how doing something for another person tells them "You’re needs are important to me." We said that it does not necessarily mean you are doing a courageous act or something huge – doing little things adds up!
Finally we wrapped up with Physical Touch. We discussed showing love to others by providing loving touch. We discussed appropriate hugs, high-fives, dancing (of course), fun snuggle times with parents while reading or watching a movie, holding hands, shoulder rides, being pushed on the swing, etc are all things we can do to show our love through touch.
We presented the kids with a specific love language challenge. We had the kids choose their favorite love language, and asked them how they will be speaking it this week?
Dine and Dish:
Talk – Ask you kids what their favorite love language is and why. Discuss the various activities that you have done in the past five weeks (whether at church or at home) and see if you discover what your child’s primary love language. Note: if your child is under five, they probably don’t have any preferences, or a primary love language. Ask them what doesn’t make them feel loved, and notice how that is related to a specific love language.
Do an activity together:
Challenge yourself to try to express a love language that you or your child doesn’t speak naturally. Read through the past materials given at Bridge Kids and see if you can learn any new tricks. Below is a quick review.
Kind Words
Say: Complements, Affimation, Kind Words
Do: Sending notes, Sending Cards.
No Criticism
Gifts
Say: positive, giving the facts
Do: Giving gifts on special (& not so special) occasions.
No forgetting special days
Time Spent
Say: One on one time, Not interrupting, Face to face conversation.
Do: Taking long walks, Doing things together, Taking trips.
No long periods being apart, or more time with friends than with significant other.
Acts of Service
Say: Action words like "I can" "I will" "what else can I do".
Do: Helping with the chores, repair/maintenance, Acts of kindness.
No ignoring significant other’s requests while helping someone else.
Loving Touch
Say: A lot of nonverbals, Verbals need to be word pictures.
Do: Touches, hugs, pats, kisses.
No physical neglect or abuse.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
The Five Love Languages – Week 5 – Physical Touch
Mark 10:16 "He [Jesus] took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them."
This week at Bridge Kids, we reviewed each Love Language and our language focus last week, Acts of Service. Our main focus this week was Physical Touch. We discussed showing love to others by providing loving touch. We also discussed ways God has shown us Physical Touch – Jesus healing lepers (the grossest people on the planet at that time), Physical Healing, Giving us positive people in our lives that provide hugs and kisses.
We started out reviewing unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always. Love God, Love Others as Self.
Today, we began with everyone giving each other a high-five. And discussed how high-fiving made them feel. Then, we talked about our emotional fuel tanks and how a friendly pat on the back or hug can show someone you care about them. We discussed when a person’s primary Love Language is Physical Touch, holding their hand or snuggling while reading a book are expressions of love that helps fill up their “love-tank”. We discussed appropriate hugs, high-fives, dancing (of course), fun snuggle times with parents while reading or watching a movie, holding hands, shoulder rides, being pushed on the swing, etc are all things we can do to show our love through touch. We also briefly discussed if someone’s touch makes them embarrassed, uncomfortable or feel wrong, they have the right to express how that touch makes them feel. They should also tell someone they trust, immediately, if someone is misusing the Love Language of Physical Touch and expressions of love should never make you feel yucky.
Today, each Bridge Kid traced their hands on paper, cut them out and decorated them. We then created a tree out of all the hands to show how positive loving touch makes us grow stronger emotionally. We discussed how positive loving touch is a way of filling the love tank of the other person, as well as their very own love tank.
We challenged them to find small ways of showing love through Physical Touch to their parents this week – so look out for those fun hugs and high-fives!!
Dine and Dish:
The Love Language of Physical Touch should be done appropriate to age. For example, your 11 year old son may not want to be hugged or kissed in public. If that is embarrassing to him, don’t do it. But if your 4 year old loves it, go for it. Physical touch should never be used inappropriately. It can and will skew your child’s view of love in a very negative way. If used appropriately, it can and will prepare them for a healthy adult life.
Talk – Talk to your kids about safety in physical touch. Empower your children to speak up if someone tries to be inappropriate or makes them feel embarrassed. Make sure your kids know they can tell you about instances where they feel uncomfortable. Even if it’s something as simple and harmless as, “Mom, it’s embarrassing to me when you kiss me on the cheek in front of my friends.” Let your kids know there is an open line of communication between you and them and you respect your child’s boundaries.
Do an activity together: If you are a parent who is timid about giving loving touch to your kids, start with something brief and simple, like a pat on the back for doing a good job, or placing your hand on your child’s shoulder while they are standing next to you.
Wheel Barrel Races – Did you ever do wheel barrel races when you were a kid? Try it out with your own! If you only have one child, set up an obstacle course around the living room or in the backyard.
Duck, Duck, Goose – Play Duck, Duck, Goose with your kids. Not only do you tap them on the head when they are chosen, if you catch them (or they catch you) it’s a fun hug, which can represent loving touch.
Everybody CONGA!! – When it’s bedtime, line up the family, put on some night time music and Conga your way to bed. It will get out last minute energy before bedtime and it’s fun!
Snuggle Times – Read a book or watch a movie together. Let your kids sit on your lap or close enough to you that you are touching. You can also place your hand on your child’s head during this time, indicating you want them close to you.
Swing – Play on the swings together. Push your child while they are swinging and let them try to push you. This is the perfect time for “Under Dogs”.
Belly Laughs – Everyone lay on the floor with your head on another person’s stomach. Once person let’s out a loud, “HA!” which will make your stomach expand and retract quickly, which in turn will bounce the person’s head…which then causes everyone to laugh and giggle.
This week at Bridge Kids, we reviewed each Love Language and our language focus last week, Acts of Service. Our main focus this week was Physical Touch. We discussed showing love to others by providing loving touch. We also discussed ways God has shown us Physical Touch – Jesus healing lepers (the grossest people on the planet at that time), Physical Healing, Giving us positive people in our lives that provide hugs and kisses.
We started out reviewing unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always. Love God, Love Others as Self.
Today, we began with everyone giving each other a high-five. And discussed how high-fiving made them feel. Then, we talked about our emotional fuel tanks and how a friendly pat on the back or hug can show someone you care about them. We discussed when a person’s primary Love Language is Physical Touch, holding their hand or snuggling while reading a book are expressions of love that helps fill up their “love-tank”. We discussed appropriate hugs, high-fives, dancing (of course), fun snuggle times with parents while reading or watching a movie, holding hands, shoulder rides, being pushed on the swing, etc are all things we can do to show our love through touch. We also briefly discussed if someone’s touch makes them embarrassed, uncomfortable or feel wrong, they have the right to express how that touch makes them feel. They should also tell someone they trust, immediately, if someone is misusing the Love Language of Physical Touch and expressions of love should never make you feel yucky.
Today, each Bridge Kid traced their hands on paper, cut them out and decorated them. We then created a tree out of all the hands to show how positive loving touch makes us grow stronger emotionally. We discussed how positive loving touch is a way of filling the love tank of the other person, as well as their very own love tank.
We challenged them to find small ways of showing love through Physical Touch to their parents this week – so look out for those fun hugs and high-fives!!
Dine and Dish:
The Love Language of Physical Touch should be done appropriate to age. For example, your 11 year old son may not want to be hugged or kissed in public. If that is embarrassing to him, don’t do it. But if your 4 year old loves it, go for it. Physical touch should never be used inappropriately. It can and will skew your child’s view of love in a very negative way. If used appropriately, it can and will prepare them for a healthy adult life.
Talk – Talk to your kids about safety in physical touch. Empower your children to speak up if someone tries to be inappropriate or makes them feel embarrassed. Make sure your kids know they can tell you about instances where they feel uncomfortable. Even if it’s something as simple and harmless as, “Mom, it’s embarrassing to me when you kiss me on the cheek in front of my friends.” Let your kids know there is an open line of communication between you and them and you respect your child’s boundaries.
Do an activity together: If you are a parent who is timid about giving loving touch to your kids, start with something brief and simple, like a pat on the back for doing a good job, or placing your hand on your child’s shoulder while they are standing next to you.
Wheel Barrel Races – Did you ever do wheel barrel races when you were a kid? Try it out with your own! If you only have one child, set up an obstacle course around the living room or in the backyard.
Duck, Duck, Goose – Play Duck, Duck, Goose with your kids. Not only do you tap them on the head when they are chosen, if you catch them (or they catch you) it’s a fun hug, which can represent loving touch.
Everybody CONGA!! – When it’s bedtime, line up the family, put on some night time music and Conga your way to bed. It will get out last minute energy before bedtime and it’s fun!
Snuggle Times – Read a book or watch a movie together. Let your kids sit on your lap or close enough to you that you are touching. You can also place your hand on your child’s head during this time, indicating you want them close to you.
Swing – Play on the swings together. Push your child while they are swinging and let them try to push you. This is the perfect time for “Under Dogs”.
Belly Laughs – Everyone lay on the floor with your head on another person’s stomach. Once person let’s out a loud, “HA!” which will make your stomach expand and retract quickly, which in turn will bounce the person’s head…which then causes everyone to laugh and giggle.
The Five Love Languages – Week 4 – Acts of Service
Galatians 5:13 "Serve one another in love."
This week at Bridge Kids, we reviewed each Love Language and our language focus last week, Time Spent With (Quality Time). Our main focus this week was Acts of Service. We discussed showing love to others by helping or doing something for another person, as an act of love. We also discussed ways God has shown us Acts of Service – Jesus (in human form), Asking for help/needs via Prayer, Finding help through others, etc.
We started out reviewing unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always. Love God, Love Others as Self.
We talked about our emotional fuel tanks and how doing something for another person tells them “You’re needs are important to me.” We discussed when a person’s primary Love Language is Acts of Service, doing a simple task or giving a helping hand is an expression of love that helps fill up their “love-tank”. It doesn’t matter if you help with dishes, clean their bedroom, do yard work, help buy groceries, wash their car, or even provide dinner for them while they are sick, these all help fuel the tank. We also talked about how Acts of Service does not necessarily mean you are doing a courageous act or something huge – doing little things adds up! We also discussed Acts of Service should never be used to get someone to do something for you, in return. We should also never say, “I will love you, if you do this thing for me.” Manipulation is not love and it squelches the fun and love a person experiences if their love language is Acts of Service.
Today, each Bridge Kid helped set up the groceries for distribution. We discussed how doing things for other people, even people you don’t necessarily know, is a way of filling the love tank of the other person, as well as their very own love tank.
We challenged them to find small ways of providing Acts of Service for one person in their life this week – whether it’s their parent, sibling, teacher or friend!
Dine and Dish:
All our service should be done appropriate to age. For example, we make beds for four-year-olds but not for ten-year-olds. When they are ready, we teach them how to serve themselves and then others. Loving service is a gift, not a necessity, not under coercion. Even for the best parents, it’s wise to have an attitude check now and then.
Ask your kids about helping out at church – How did they feel or what did they think about providing their Act of Service? Did they meet anyone new? How did they feel when they were finished? Did they like helping out?
Do an activity together: Be sure to use encouraging words during this time. Thank your kids for helping you—be specific. Let them know they are doing a good job! Don’t expect your kids to be at the same level as you when doing an Act of Service. And, if they don’t do things perfectly, remember, they’re kids – use gentle guidance.
Dishes – Allow your kids to help you do the dishes or clear the table this week. Make it fun! Turn on the music or dance together while cleaning. Remember, your kids aren’t your indentured servants – give them some slack!
Laundry – Let your kids help you fold laundry. Even if it doesn’t turn out perfectly or if it’s not folded the way you like it, it’s ok. The world won’t fall apart if the towels are not folded symmetrically! The purpose is to let them help.
Take an All Family Nap – To speak the love language of Acts of Service, you need physical and emotional energy. Pay attention to your own physical and emotional health. Talk to your kids about taking care of themselves – consuming healthy food and beverages, getting enough sleep/rest, allowing for alone time and how we need to love ourselves, in order for us to be healthy enough to love other people.
Make Dinner/Lunch/Breakfast for Someone Else – As a family, think of someone you love and make them a meal together, but don’t stay to eat. Deliver the meal together and on the drive or walk home, talk about how they felt delivering the meal.
Special Talent – Do your kids have a special talent? Do you? Show them how to use their special talent to provide an Act of Service. Do you know someone who needs their car fixed and you know cars? Do you know how to do carpentry/yard work/sew/play an instrument/create a budget? Do you know someone who needs help with those things? Take one child with you to help – even if all they do is hand you items you need. They will love being included. Afterward, talk with your child about what you did, how they felt and thank them for helping you. Don’t be false in your gratitude or praise – kids know when you are being sincere and when you are not!
The Five Love Languages – Week 3 – Time Spent With
Psalm 139:1-2 (The Message) God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to you; even from a distance you know what I’m thinking.
This week at Bridge Kids, we reviewed each Love Language and our language focus last week, Gifts. Our main focus this week was Time Spent With. We discussed showing love to others by spending QUALITY time with the people you love. We also discussed ways God spends time with us and ways we can spend time with God – Jesus (in human form), Nature, Worship (through music, writing, dance, appreciation of creation, etc.), Prayer, Bible, People, etc.
We started out reviewing unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always. Love God, Love Others as Self.
We talked about our emotional fuel tanks and how spending un-rushed time with someone we love, can show the other person, “You’re important. I like being with you.” We discussed when a person’s primary Love Language is spending quality time with another person, hanging out with them is an expression of love that helps fill up their “love-tank”. It doesn’t matter if you go on a walk, put a puzzle together, go on a road trip or even talking on the phone – as long as it’s QUALITY time, it helps fuel the tank. We also talked about how QUALITY time does not mean flipping through the channels on the television or doing something where you can’t have good eye contact and conversation – because neither person is actually learning something new from the other person. Seeking out another person, for the sole purpose of hanging out, is one way we can express our love for one another.
Today, each Bridge Kid decorated a jumbo puzzle piece and then we assembled the puzzle together. We discussed how time together allows people to understand you, and helps you understand how you "fit" with them. Every time you are "with" someone it’s a chance to show that you love them. We challenged them to spend quality time with someone they love this week and come up with fun ideas of how to spend time with the people they love!
Dine and Dish:
Ask your kids what “unconditional love” means to them. Discuss what it means to you.
Ask your kids about the jumbo puzzle we put together – How did they feel or what did they think about having their own piece of the puzzle? What did the puzzle symbolize/represent to them?
Do an activity together: Be sure to give yourself plenty of time to spend with your child – don’t rush your quality time with them….make eye contact and ask specific questions.
Puzzle – Choose a fun puzzle that will take a while to assemble and put it together with your family. During your time, be sure to talk to your kids, ask them questions about the things they like/don’t like, love/don’t love.
Go for a Walk – Get bundled up and go for a walk! If it’s around your neighborhood, talk about the neighborhood (not neighborhood gossip, but the culture of your neighborhood, why you chose to live there, what they like/dislike about where you live).
Saturday Market – Visit Portland Saturday Market together. Talk about all the different smells, colors, textures, different people and art you will experience. Ask your kids what they think about each thing. Ask if they could make something and sell it, for a living, what would they do?
Music Store – Visit a music store where you can listen to music together. Try different genres of music, even stuff you may not like and talk about how different types of music can evoke different emotions or feelings. Dance and be silly together (unless, of course, it would be embarrassing to your child).
Backyard/Basement/Living Room Camping – Go on a “camping trip” with your kids at your own home. Build a “tent” in the living room together….create a fake campfire out of construction paper and paper towel spools, get your flashlights and tell stories to one another….make S’mores in the stove (Graham Crackers, Chocolate Bar, Marshmallows – assemble the S’mores and place on a cookie sheet. Set under the broiler for about 30 seconds. Check and see if the marshmallows have begun to get poufy– they’re done!)
This week at Bridge Kids, we reviewed each Love Language and our language focus last week, Gifts. Our main focus this week was Time Spent With. We discussed showing love to others by spending QUALITY time with the people you love. We also discussed ways God spends time with us and ways we can spend time with God – Jesus (in human form), Nature, Worship (through music, writing, dance, appreciation of creation, etc.), Prayer, Bible, People, etc.
We started out reviewing unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always. Love God, Love Others as Self.
We talked about our emotional fuel tanks and how spending un-rushed time with someone we love, can show the other person, “You’re important. I like being with you.” We discussed when a person’s primary Love Language is spending quality time with another person, hanging out with them is an expression of love that helps fill up their “love-tank”. It doesn’t matter if you go on a walk, put a puzzle together, go on a road trip or even talking on the phone – as long as it’s QUALITY time, it helps fuel the tank. We also talked about how QUALITY time does not mean flipping through the channels on the television or doing something where you can’t have good eye contact and conversation – because neither person is actually learning something new from the other person. Seeking out another person, for the sole purpose of hanging out, is one way we can express our love for one another.
Today, each Bridge Kid decorated a jumbo puzzle piece and then we assembled the puzzle together. We discussed how time together allows people to understand you, and helps you understand how you "fit" with them. Every time you are "with" someone it’s a chance to show that you love them. We challenged them to spend quality time with someone they love this week and come up with fun ideas of how to spend time with the people they love!
Dine and Dish:
Ask your kids what “unconditional love” means to them. Discuss what it means to you.
Ask your kids about the jumbo puzzle we put together – How did they feel or what did they think about having their own piece of the puzzle? What did the puzzle symbolize/represent to them?
Do an activity together: Be sure to give yourself plenty of time to spend with your child – don’t rush your quality time with them….make eye contact and ask specific questions.
Puzzle – Choose a fun puzzle that will take a while to assemble and put it together with your family. During your time, be sure to talk to your kids, ask them questions about the things they like/don’t like, love/don’t love.
Go for a Walk – Get bundled up and go for a walk! If it’s around your neighborhood, talk about the neighborhood (not neighborhood gossip, but the culture of your neighborhood, why you chose to live there, what they like/dislike about where you live).
Saturday Market – Visit Portland Saturday Market together. Talk about all the different smells, colors, textures, different people and art you will experience. Ask your kids what they think about each thing. Ask if they could make something and sell it, for a living, what would they do?
Music Store – Visit a music store where you can listen to music together. Try different genres of music, even stuff you may not like and talk about how different types of music can evoke different emotions or feelings. Dance and be silly together (unless, of course, it would be embarrassing to your child).
Backyard/Basement/Living Room Camping – Go on a “camping trip” with your kids at your own home. Build a “tent” in the living room together….create a fake campfire out of construction paper and paper towel spools, get your flashlights and tell stories to one another….make S’mores in the stove (Graham Crackers, Chocolate Bar, Marshmallows – assemble the S’mores and place on a cookie sheet. Set under the broiler for about 30 seconds. Check and see if the marshmallows have begun to get poufy– they’re done!)
The Five Love Languages – Week 2 – Gifts
This week at Bridge Kids, we began with a brief review of each Love Language (Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Time Spent With and Physical Touch) and what we talked about last week, Words of Affirmation.
Our main focus this week was Gifts. We discussed showing love to others by giving thoughtful gifts (hand-made gifts, cards, flowers, etc.). Gifts that show you are thinking of the other person and not of yourself. We discussed God’s gifts to us – Jesus, Life, Nature, Laughter, Music, People, etc.
We started out reviewing unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always.
We talked about our emotional fuel tanks and how giving a thoughtful gift to someone we love, can show the other person, “he or she was thinking of me’. We discussed when a person’s primary Love Language is ‘receiving gifts’- those expressions of love are what helps fills up their “love-tank”. A gift is a symbol of thought. It says – “I was thinking of you.” It doesn’t matter whether it costs money or not – the cost is immaterial, mostly! It’s what it conveys that is important. A card, a small home made object, a book, each conveys love – the thoughts of the heart and mind, and what’s cool is, cost isn’t all that relevant! Gifts are visual symbols of love, and for some people it is those symbols which fill up their “love-tank”. A flower picked from the garden, a special surprise visit from a friend or loved one, paint for an artist – all mean incredible amounts to the person whose primary love language is receiving gifts. Don’t wait for a special occasion to give gifts! If you are thinking about someone and have an idea of something that would make them feel loved, do it!
Giving a gift to someone, without expecting something in return, is one way we can express our love for one another. We should never use gifts to bribe others into doing something for us.
Each Bridge Kid received a gift from us today and created a gift for someone they love. We challenged them to give the gift to someone they love this week! We also challenged them to be thoughtful of the people they love this week with hand made or “found” gifts and give or send them to three different people in a genuine way to see how it makes other people feel and to see how it makes them feel, as well.
Dine and Dish:
Ask your kids how they felt when they un-wrapped their gifts today.
Create home made gifts together, for another person or family you love and leave the gifts on their doorstep! Be thoughtful in the gifts you make, with that specific person or family in mind.
Ideas for gifts** – Mixed CDs or Tapes, Framed pictures of your kids with that person/family, Framed pictures of drawings your kids have created for that person/family, Hand picked flowers, T-Shirt with a home-made iron-on, Bake cookies/cupcakes, Make Dinner
Do an activity together:
In-home Scavenger Hunt – place small gifts (bouncy ball, flowers, small stuffed animal, coloring books, etc.) around your home that reflect who your kids are and be sure to wrap them! Once your kids have found all the gifts, sit in a small circle together and watch your kids unwrap their gifts. Talk with them about why you chose the gifts you gave them and ask them their thoughts about each item.
Talk about how gifts have either encouraged or discouraged you when you were growing up – ask your kids about times people have given them thoughtful things and how it made them feel.
Music – if your kids love music, create a mixed CD or tape with them and have a dance party or hang out time together listening to the music. Create one for other people you love and write a note as to why you chose those specific songs!
Rent a movie – Let your kids pick out which one(s) you get!
Keep a journal. Write down the things you are learning from your kids and the things you do together. Keep track of their reactions to your questions or to the fun things you do together. See if your relationship changes or stays the same.
**Make sure you express your love verbally or in writing with the gift. This can be overdone and then, become meaningless; but remembering his or her love language with occasional and personal gifts will create good, loving experiences.
Our main focus this week was Gifts. We discussed showing love to others by giving thoughtful gifts (hand-made gifts, cards, flowers, etc.). Gifts that show you are thinking of the other person and not of yourself. We discussed God’s gifts to us – Jesus, Life, Nature, Laughter, Music, People, etc.
We started out reviewing unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always.
We talked about our emotional fuel tanks and how giving a thoughtful gift to someone we love, can show the other person, “he or she was thinking of me’. We discussed when a person’s primary Love Language is ‘receiving gifts’- those expressions of love are what helps fills up their “love-tank”. A gift is a symbol of thought. It says – “I was thinking of you.” It doesn’t matter whether it costs money or not – the cost is immaterial, mostly! It’s what it conveys that is important. A card, a small home made object, a book, each conveys love – the thoughts of the heart and mind, and what’s cool is, cost isn’t all that relevant! Gifts are visual symbols of love, and for some people it is those symbols which fill up their “love-tank”. A flower picked from the garden, a special surprise visit from a friend or loved one, paint for an artist – all mean incredible amounts to the person whose primary love language is receiving gifts. Don’t wait for a special occasion to give gifts! If you are thinking about someone and have an idea of something that would make them feel loved, do it!
Giving a gift to someone, without expecting something in return, is one way we can express our love for one another. We should never use gifts to bribe others into doing something for us.
Each Bridge Kid received a gift from us today and created a gift for someone they love. We challenged them to give the gift to someone they love this week! We also challenged them to be thoughtful of the people they love this week with hand made or “found” gifts and give or send them to three different people in a genuine way to see how it makes other people feel and to see how it makes them feel, as well.
Dine and Dish:
Ask your kids how they felt when they un-wrapped their gifts today.
Create home made gifts together, for another person or family you love and leave the gifts on their doorstep! Be thoughtful in the gifts you make, with that specific person or family in mind.
Ideas for gifts** – Mixed CDs or Tapes, Framed pictures of your kids with that person/family, Framed pictures of drawings your kids have created for that person/family, Hand picked flowers, T-Shirt with a home-made iron-on, Bake cookies/cupcakes, Make Dinner
Do an activity together:
In-home Scavenger Hunt – place small gifts (bouncy ball, flowers, small stuffed animal, coloring books, etc.) around your home that reflect who your kids are and be sure to wrap them! Once your kids have found all the gifts, sit in a small circle together and watch your kids unwrap their gifts. Talk with them about why you chose the gifts you gave them and ask them their thoughts about each item.
Talk about how gifts have either encouraged or discouraged you when you were growing up – ask your kids about times people have given them thoughtful things and how it made them feel.
Music – if your kids love music, create a mixed CD or tape with them and have a dance party or hang out time together listening to the music. Create one for other people you love and write a note as to why you chose those specific songs!
Rent a movie – Let your kids pick out which one(s) you get!
Keep a journal. Write down the things you are learning from your kids and the things you do together. Keep track of their reactions to your questions or to the fun things you do together. See if your relationship changes or stays the same.
**Make sure you express your love verbally or in writing with the gift. This can be overdone and then, become meaningless; but remembering his or her love language with occasional and personal gifts will create good, loving experiences.
The Five Love Languages – Week 1 – Words of Affirmation (Saying Kind Things)
This week at Bridge Kids, we began with a brief overview of each Love Language (Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Time Spent With and Physical Touch). Our main focus this week was Words of Affirmation. We discussed showing love to others by saying kind things (verbal, notes, cards, etc) that are both true and authentic.
We started out talking about unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always.
We talked about our emotional fuel tanks and set up Fuel Stations labeled with each Love Language. Each kid had a sheet of stickers with the first letter of their name on them. We asked specific questions such as, “Which do you like best: When someone gives you hugs or when someone gives you a present?” or “Which do you like better: When someone says something nice to you or when someone reads you a book?” Which ever “fuel” they answered, they placed a sticker at that particular fueling station. This helped us get a high-level overview of what each kids’ love language might be. Words of Affirmation, or Saying Nice Things to people, without expecting something in return, and saying something genuine is one way we can express our love for one another. We should never use words of affirmation to manipulate others into doing something for us.
Each Bridge Kid created a card with words of affirmation written on the inside, or a picture showing how/who they love. We challenged them to give the card to someone that they love this week, whether it’s a parent, sibling, grandparent, or friend. We also challenged them to use words of affirmation to three different people this week in a genuine way to see how it makes other people feel and to see how it makes them feel, as well.
Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death.”
Dine and Dish:
Ask your kids about the Unconditional Love Army Chant we marched to during our time together.
Create a fun chant together at home about your love for one another using specific things you love about each other.
Go through the “Work Book Pages” behind this page. They are taken directly out of “The Five Love Languages for Children” workbook.
Do an activity together:
Create a List of all the things you love about one another in your family and read it out loud to one another before bed time.
Talk about how words have either encouraged or discouraged you when you were growing up – ask your kids about times people have said nice things/not-so-nice things to them and how it made them feel.
Create a collage with one another using positive words about your family.
Buy fun postcards write notes to 3 different people telling them why you are glad they are in your life and either hand-deliver them or mail them.
Call someone together and sing “I just called to say I love you” and tell that person why you love them and don’t call for any other reason.
Keep a journal. Write down the things you are learning from your kids and the things you do together. Keep track of their reactions to your questions or to the fun things you do together. See if your relationship changes or stays the same.
We started out talking about unconditional love and God’s unconditional love for us and how we don’t have to do anything to win God’s love for us – we just have it….always.
We talked about our emotional fuel tanks and set up Fuel Stations labeled with each Love Language. Each kid had a sheet of stickers with the first letter of their name on them. We asked specific questions such as, “Which do you like best: When someone gives you hugs or when someone gives you a present?” or “Which do you like better: When someone says something nice to you or when someone reads you a book?” Which ever “fuel” they answered, they placed a sticker at that particular fueling station. This helped us get a high-level overview of what each kids’ love language might be. Words of Affirmation, or Saying Nice Things to people, without expecting something in return, and saying something genuine is one way we can express our love for one another. We should never use words of affirmation to manipulate others into doing something for us.
Each Bridge Kid created a card with words of affirmation written on the inside, or a picture showing how/who they love. We challenged them to give the card to someone that they love this week, whether it’s a parent, sibling, grandparent, or friend. We also challenged them to use words of affirmation to three different people this week in a genuine way to see how it makes other people feel and to see how it makes them feel, as well.
Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death.”
Dine and Dish:
Ask your kids about the Unconditional Love Army Chant we marched to during our time together.
Create a fun chant together at home about your love for one another using specific things you love about each other.
Go through the “Work Book Pages” behind this page. They are taken directly out of “The Five Love Languages for Children” workbook.
Do an activity together:
Create a List of all the things you love about one another in your family and read it out loud to one another before bed time.
Talk about how words have either encouraged or discouraged you when you were growing up – ask your kids about times people have said nice things/not-so-nice things to them and how it made them feel.
Create a collage with one another using positive words about your family.
Buy fun postcards write notes to 3 different people telling them why you are glad they are in your life and either hand-deliver them or mail them.
Call someone together and sing “I just called to say I love you” and tell that person why you love them and don’t call for any other reason.
Keep a journal. Write down the things you are learning from your kids and the things you do together. Keep track of their reactions to your questions or to the fun things you do together. See if your relationship changes or stays the same.
Week One - Kick Off
Get-To-Know You Dance Party Celebration!
This week @ Bridge Kids we got to know one another through an M&M game and had intervals of Dance Party!
Each person received a cup with three M&Ms in it. Each color of M&M represented a question.
Green: What makes you happy? Red: What makes you feel loved? Yellow: Where is your favorite place?
Blue: What is your favorite cartoon?
Brown: What is your favorite song/music? Orange: What is your favorite Animal?
They answered the questions according to what color(s) of M&Ms were in their cups. Once everyone had a turn, we poured all of our M&Ms into a large bowl to signify the diversity of thought each person has and how each individual thought makes up a very colorful and fun bowl that everyone can enjoy, especially, if we all participate and listen to one another…and respect each other in our sameness and in our differences. And, yes, we ate some of the M&Ms, too! We also introduced the Talking Stick (taken from Native American tribal meetings – See attached page for more details). The person holding the Talking Stick is the person who gets to “have the floor”. We will use this method going forward, to help ensure everyone gets a chance to have a voice and be heard. We hope it will help develop communication and listening skills in ALL of us! J After our time getting to know each other, we each decorated a giant puzzle piece, representing our individuality. Once each piece was finished we put the puzzle pieces together to show that even though we are all individuals, we all have our own place in the Big Picture and all belong together. The puzzle can always be added to, which means, as volunteers and other kids join our group, they can have a place in the Big Picture, just like everyone else.
Dine and Dish:
You can ask your kids the same questions as the M&M questions, and answer them yourself. Talk about why they answer the way(s) that they do and talk about why YOU answer the way(s) you do. For instance, “Why is the giraffe your favorite animal?” Or, “What makes purple your favorite color?” Remember, only one person talks at a time!
Do an activity together:
Create a Cartoon Strip – using your family members as “super heroes” and include the answers to your M&M questions in the storyline. It doesn’t matter if drawing is your forte, if you are spending time with your kids, they’ll eat it up!
Write a “love note” to a friend or family member and mail it!
Write a song together, using the style of your kids’ favorite music. Or, create a mixed CD/Tape with their favorite songs and listen to it in the car.
Go to the zoo and spend the majority of time at their favorite animals’ site.
Hang out with them in their favorite place and read a book together or just talk and have snacks.
Take 10 minutes out of your busy day to be silly – turn the music up and dance! See who can make the worst faces at the table. Who can make up the funniest walk, dance moves or noises. Embrace the silliness!! You might feel stupid to begin with, but seriously, who cares!?!
Keep a journal. Write down the things you are learning from your kids and the things you do together. Keep track of their reactions to your questions or to the fun things you do together. See if your relationship changes or stays the same.
Ask your child about the Talking Stick. What happens when you have it?
Try the Talking Stick method of communication at home and to help aid in disagreements or if someone is sharing something important.
Create a Talking Stick for your family. http://www.geocities.com/rainforest/9637/pg000014.htm
The Talking Stick
The talking stick was used in Native North American tribes at council meetings. It was used as courtesy not to interrupt a chief when he was speaking. The talking stick was then passed to the next council member who wished to speak. The stick was a ceremonial item and was decorated with eagle feathers and crystals to show its significance.
These tribes used a talking stick to ensure that each party was able to express themselves and feel listened to, without interruption. Here is how the talking stick is used: “Sarah” has the talking stick. Sarah shares her point and perspective. When she is finished speaking, she can pass the stick to the next person who would like to speak, but not until Sarah has been heard and that person understands what she has said, she will then hand the talking stick to the next person (and not until). That next person will not interject his opinions or point of view until he is holding the stick and only after he can re-tell what Sarah has just said. This goes on until both/all parties have said what they need to say and feel heard. The Indian Talking Stick produces bonding, and a new idea - not yours, not mine, but a third alternative to communicating with one another, whether during a disagreement or during a time of sharing.
If you would like further information on The Talking Stick, you can talk to Geoff or Crystal, and/or check out these websites: Here is a link to Steven Covey explaining it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUxi-Zc45tA
http://www.geocities.com/rainforest/9637/pg000014.htm
Our hope, in using the Talking Stick, is to ensure everyone feels heard and everyone knows they have an important and valuable voice. It will help us all learn to listen better and have more meaningful conversations!
This week @ Bridge Kids we got to know one another through an M&M game and had intervals of Dance Party!
Each person received a cup with three M&Ms in it. Each color of M&M represented a question.
Green: What makes you happy? Red: What makes you feel loved? Yellow: Where is your favorite place?
Blue: What is your favorite cartoon?
Brown: What is your favorite song/music? Orange: What is your favorite Animal?
They answered the questions according to what color(s) of M&Ms were in their cups. Once everyone had a turn, we poured all of our M&Ms into a large bowl to signify the diversity of thought each person has and how each individual thought makes up a very colorful and fun bowl that everyone can enjoy, especially, if we all participate and listen to one another…and respect each other in our sameness and in our differences. And, yes, we ate some of the M&Ms, too! We also introduced the Talking Stick (taken from Native American tribal meetings – See attached page for more details). The person holding the Talking Stick is the person who gets to “have the floor”. We will use this method going forward, to help ensure everyone gets a chance to have a voice and be heard. We hope it will help develop communication and listening skills in ALL of us! J After our time getting to know each other, we each decorated a giant puzzle piece, representing our individuality. Once each piece was finished we put the puzzle pieces together to show that even though we are all individuals, we all have our own place in the Big Picture and all belong together. The puzzle can always be added to, which means, as volunteers and other kids join our group, they can have a place in the Big Picture, just like everyone else.
Dine and Dish:
You can ask your kids the same questions as the M&M questions, and answer them yourself. Talk about why they answer the way(s) that they do and talk about why YOU answer the way(s) you do. For instance, “Why is the giraffe your favorite animal?” Or, “What makes purple your favorite color?” Remember, only one person talks at a time!
Do an activity together:
Create a Cartoon Strip – using your family members as “super heroes” and include the answers to your M&M questions in the storyline. It doesn’t matter if drawing is your forte, if you are spending time with your kids, they’ll eat it up!
Write a “love note” to a friend or family member and mail it!
Write a song together, using the style of your kids’ favorite music. Or, create a mixed CD/Tape with their favorite songs and listen to it in the car.
Go to the zoo and spend the majority of time at their favorite animals’ site.
Hang out with them in their favorite place and read a book together or just talk and have snacks.
Take 10 minutes out of your busy day to be silly – turn the music up and dance! See who can make the worst faces at the table. Who can make up the funniest walk, dance moves or noises. Embrace the silliness!! You might feel stupid to begin with, but seriously, who cares!?!
Keep a journal. Write down the things you are learning from your kids and the things you do together. Keep track of their reactions to your questions or to the fun things you do together. See if your relationship changes or stays the same.
Ask your child about the Talking Stick. What happens when you have it?
Try the Talking Stick method of communication at home and to help aid in disagreements or if someone is sharing something important.
Create a Talking Stick for your family. http://www.geocities.com/rainforest/9637/pg000014.htm
The Talking Stick
The talking stick was used in Native North American tribes at council meetings. It was used as courtesy not to interrupt a chief when he was speaking. The talking stick was then passed to the next council member who wished to speak. The stick was a ceremonial item and was decorated with eagle feathers and crystals to show its significance.
These tribes used a talking stick to ensure that each party was able to express themselves and feel listened to, without interruption. Here is how the talking stick is used: “Sarah” has the talking stick. Sarah shares her point and perspective. When she is finished speaking, she can pass the stick to the next person who would like to speak, but not until Sarah has been heard and that person understands what she has said, she will then hand the talking stick to the next person (and not until). That next person will not interject his opinions or point of view until he is holding the stick and only after he can re-tell what Sarah has just said. This goes on until both/all parties have said what they need to say and feel heard. The Indian Talking Stick produces bonding, and a new idea - not yours, not mine, but a third alternative to communicating with one another, whether during a disagreement or during a time of sharing.
If you would like further information on The Talking Stick, you can talk to Geoff or Crystal, and/or check out these websites: Here is a link to Steven Covey explaining it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUxi-Zc45tA
http://www.geocities.com/rainforest/9637/pg000014.htm
Our hope, in using the Talking Stick, is to ensure everyone feels heard and everyone knows they have an important and valuable voice. It will help us all learn to listen better and have more meaningful conversations!
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